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When You are Ready - A Self - Healing path to BE-ing

Having Expectations



How much do you accept yourself, not just lip service or deprecating remarks for others approval.

What do you expect from yourself and others?

Think about the expectations that cause anxiety, stress, or excitement. At what point is what you expect unreasonable? Write about 5 instances that were extremely anxious and stressful. What was the outcome? Harm? Or let's do that again for a moment. 


Like the Nautilus, each segment of our life is a building block to who we are/become. What we allow to stay in those segment is our own personal choice. This Book is about cleaning out every segment to attain the you that you want to be.


I taught art for both children and adults for years. One of the issues I repeatedly dealt with was self and negativity. I expected myself to make everyone in my classes or ‘arty parties’ to have a good experience. There were many occasions I would have to stop the class to explain that negativity was not appreciated both for myself and the others there to learn and enjoy. I used ‘you’ in the example below as a general ‘anybody’ and not specifically ‘you’. Unless the shoe fits.


EX: You are in a group doing an art project and you are not in your element, the one that often remarks that yours doesn't look good or you can't do this because you don't have the talent. You notice that others quickly stop what they are doing to give you attention and energy to make you feel better. 

The truth is that this is habit forming behavior and is crumbling the fabric of the positive energy of others. Making you feel better by robbing the group of their own energy, oftentimes until the whole event plummets and no one is having fun because of the negativity.  Be on the lookout for this behavior in yourself and be quick to play the appreciation game with yourself to retrain positive and enjoyable behavior. Oddly enough this does have something to do with what you expect from yourself. 

Expect to enjoy what you have rather than what you want.


EX: I am so glad I was invited to experience this fun project with you all. I have always enjoyed giving new things a try.   ‘And stop right there’ you HAVE that! You WANTED a competitive masterpiece. (That is subjective) You HAVE comradery, support, opportunities to experience, fun and joy if you let it in. (That is Objective)


Step 14


Are the expectations Good or Bad? 

Make a list of them that pertains to you, first the bad and then the good. 

Make a list that pertains to what you expect from others. Who are the others and are your expectations good or bad?

Think about the reasons for the expectation. 

Ex: What do you expect to do for yourself and others?

      What do you expect others to do for you?  Take your time and give even the smallest thing a lot of thought. Write them down and read them out loud to yourself.   What are the differences?




Flipping the perspective.


Others

How much do you expect from others? Going back to yourself, flip that in reverse. Realistically what others can do for your health and wellbeing that you cannot do for yourself? 

They can’t:     For You

eat                                              sleep

play                                            learn

breath                                       exist                             etc, ect, ect .   Continue the list on your own.


Others can:  

Guide                                    Teach

Listen                                   Help                      

etc, etc, ect.   Continue the list on your own.


Other Self words to break down and journal about or discuss in a group openly and honestly.

Denial                      Regret

Release                    Forgiveness

Drama                     Toxicity




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